the third act

 It's been a very long time between postings

For a while, I thought I might have reached the end of blogging -- so little uninterrupted time

 And now I need to (briefly) explain the absence for the last year and a half

 When I  last posted in February, 2019, I had just brought the DH home from over a month in the hospital and then rehab.  He came home needing more day to day care -- he could no longer see well enough to handle his blood sugar testing and insulin injections -- he needed higher levels of oxygen making it a lot harder for him to go anywhere -- and he took blood thinners twice a day because his heart was not beating in a regular rhythm

Despite all that we had only two choices -- assisted living, which he hated the whole idea of and refused to even discuss -- or I could take care of him at home -- so he came home and we found a new normal

We had a big family gathering for his birthday where he got to see all of his grandchildren and his great grandchildren -- and we did it again at Christmas -- and he did love Christmas -- all the planning and the decorating and the cooking and the wrapping -- it was his favorite time of year

Then in March, 2020, the world around us went crazy -- COVID 19 shut down everything -- and his already limited world became a lot more limited -- and he was slipping away into his memories about playing baseball as a young boy -- and exploring caves when he was away at school in Missouri in his teen years -- and he was sometimes angry because I wouldn't let him go out into the garage and work with the power tools unless I was right there to guide (and protect) him so he wouldn't get hurt

And of course, in the end, I couldn't protect him from the inevitable

So on August 14 we decided we were going to stay up past our usual bedtime and watch the PBS recording of "The Sound of Music", a stage production that we hadn't seen before -- and at it's end, I said "it's time to go to bed" -- he started to answer and then he was unconscious -- and I was dialing 911

The paramedics and the ambulance were here really quickly and they tried for an hour doing CPR, giving medications -- creating an emergency room in the middle of our family room -- trying everything that an emergency room would do -- but at 12:15 in the morning of August 15 he slipped away and was no longer bound by medications and leg braces and oxygen tanks -- he was free

 Parts of the last three weeks are a blur -- talking to the coroner at 3:00 a.m. -- picking a spot at the cemetery -- asking for mass with the parish priest -- being able to have only a small group standing in the cemetery to say goodbye 

And now life of a whole other kind moves on for those of us left behind -- moving forward -- moving sideways -- some days just trying to stand still -- time doesn't let us do that

On now to that third act --